My Search
After watching too much of pornography, and non-stop senseless accumulation of information 24/7 (TV, News, Books etc. etc.), I feel my mind is little cluttered and disarrayed. I felt the need to align my chi with I don’t know what, but whatever gives me some serenity.
So, my search for inner peace began. I thought meditation might be the answer for my restless soul. Since I’ve never meditated before, I was clueless how to head start, I needed a help. Luckily, I happened to know a friend who’s been practicing meditation for a while. So he invited me to his mediation center, Sambhala, which is a Tibetan Buddhist way of meditation, that’s all I know about it. I’m a total novice, so you might now more than I do.
It’s a community service run by volunteers; they provide a short introductory class for the beginners on comfortable sitting postures and a few breathing techniques. While the more seasoned gather in the big hall to do some serious meditation. After an hour of meditation the class break up for a tea break, and after that they have open discussion forum, where a speaker chooses a topic and the participants can chime in. For the evening I was there, the topic was on ‘Enlightenment.’ An arcane topic for me, even though we Easterners pretend that’s our backyard, I guess a sense of spiritual superiority by association with god knows what.
The discussion didn’t have any structure, but most of the perspectives were from Buddhist philosophy. I kind of enjoyed it, since the discussion was not tethered around some central tenet like any other organized religion, we could wander around, and have the most insane explanation. Unlike Ten Commandments or some cosmic decree shoved down your throat, where diversion and imagination has no room. Indoctrination scares me, may be the anarchist in me enjoys the freedom of thought. How sad it would be to live your life by ten points or by some codes? It’s a final insult to an intelligent god (if there is one), whose creation is unimaginatively dumb (oxymoron in itself) not ever to venture beyond holy decrees. Alas! Sigh! Fuck!
The facilitator of the discussion did act like an authority on Enlightenment, which pissed me off a little (OK, a lot, since I’ve an aversion for all kinds of preachers), and I tired to give him a hard time by throwing off my stupid questions at him. He sensed my hostility and retreated a little, which I took as my victory, even stomped my chest on bludgeoning him with my club of arrogance.
In retrospect, I was a complete dick. My vanity completely took over my search of serenity. I ended my journey even before I started; my ego dug a ditch and buried me. But, hey, that was my first session; you can’t expect Buddha out of Siddharth over night. Apart from who’s-your-daddy kind of debate largely on my part, I concur. I enjoyed the format of discussion and enjoyed the meditation session. That may be the first time I’ve sat still for half an hour in many, many years without doing anything. Quite refreshing.
I’m going back again this Thursday, looking for my serenity and may be my serendipity. There was a cute girl with big boobies, who interjected herself while I was fencing with the facilitator. My divine intervention. With all smiles, she explained to me what she thinks on the topic being debated heatedly. I don’t remember what she said, but it was all bird chirping to my ears, a melody. And I just nodded my head in approval without listening; she might as well have said that I was an ass. But it didn’t matter even if it was a reprimand, where would you find a beauty who lectures you on philosophy? Phew. Smitten, smitten.
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