Plain Bitching

Ok! It’s a bitching time, I guess, I’m bitter for no reason. I’ve come to loath Nepali youths that come to the US in loads. Not everyone, but most of them. Fucking, they just hop into the plane and land here with no clue. Yes, foreign land and culture can be intimidating, but for GOD sake, do some reading before coming here. There is something called Atlas, look into the map where you are going, learn something about the climate, demographics, crime rate etc. etc of the place that you intend to go.

 

Most of them feel cheated, when they land up in the middle of some corn field somewhere in the Mid West among the cows and hillbillies who have never seen any colored people. They are equally surprised to see you suddenly in their town out of nowhere, as you are to see them. And you go about introducing yourself form the land of Mt. Everest, which no one gives a shit. All they worry is if you have found Jesus. And your general conclusion is that all whites are dumb, just because they don’t know about your pride—Mt. Everest. I don’t blame these kids too. For most of us, we are the first one to come here, unlike the well to do Nepalis, who already had someone here to give them sound advice.

 

As much as there is a lack of homework from our youth, American Center in Nepal is equally culpable. Fuckers are paid to help the students who want to study in the US. And the employees act as if they are the CEOs of some multi national corp. Someone should tell them they are just fucking clerks, who just happen to speak English with accent, and meticulously dressed, children of some well to do families. They are unapproachable and very intimidating for our youth, so they heed the advice of their friends instead; as a result most of them end up in some corn field or in some badest meanest cities, where recently a Nepali youth was shot dead.

 

If you are Nepali, please, don’t speak to me in English, and please not with an accent. ‘Dude’ and ‘awesome’ don’t make your English any better. I usually make an effort to go and talk to Nepali whenever/wherever I see them. At least reciprocate the courtesy, a smile will suffice, fucking you don’t have to be a snub. For that you might be a prince/princess back home, I don’t give a shit. Especially for women, they act all liberated and empowered by what I don’t know, but its all pretension. Approach them, and your assertiveness would construed as your intention to take them to bed. God save Nepali nari in pardesh.

 

Worst are the children born here, parents are confused, children are even more. I hate going to homes with toddlers, fucking they are unruly; I always have this urge to smash them against the wall. For god sake, don’t speak to your kids in English, they will learn that anyway in school. ‘Aisyosh, Gaisyosh, Khaiyosh’ is not Nepali, that’s fucking your feudal pride.

 

I like this country for one reason at least for the immigrants, it’s a great flatners, and playing field is leveled. No matter if you are a prince or a pauper, you start from the scratch. If you are a Rana Sahib or a commoner from Humla, you need to slug your ass. Ass it is after all, it has no class, unlike ‘aisyosh, gaiyosh’ ass.

Peaceful Nepali? My ass!

I believe; there is an invisible rope that tethers every individual/institution to restrict them from going off the conventional/traditional boundaries set by society/institutions—social or religious, or in whatever organized form they might be. The strength of that rope to prevent anyone from going astray is only as strong as the first transgression, the first crossover the line that demarcates the boundary. Call it an inability of accepted ‘teachings/framework’ to prevent individual from doing so, or an ultimate freedom form rigid dogmas. It’s all the matter of perspective, and purely subjective.

It’s always your first puff of smoke, first sip of alcohol, a first trip to brothel that stabs you the hardest at your conscience, sending pangs of guilt. Sometime the guilt triumphs, sometimes the thrill of rebellious act, sometimes even the sheer pleasure. But mostly, a guilt turns into amusement, after a while it turns into habit, after that it just becomes another mundane activity that you do everyday, you no longer see it through the light of ‘good/bad.’ That is when you are set free, for better or worse off of your shackles (I believe for better). But it’s not just limited to trivial acts of smoking/drinking/drugs/sex; this applies to even darker/graver of crimes theft/murder/rape etc. Then the idea of ‘free will’ gets murky.  

How sad, this is true for the Politics of Violence too.  Within the short stint of experimenting in Nepali politics with different ideas/ideologies, we saw many things we are capable of, mostly greed, and violence born out of greed. But all the warring parties before, tried their best not to target the civilian to pursue their political agenda. But the act of those bomb blasts in Kathmandu last week have severed the rope that tethers to that unspoken pact—not bringing war into homes. (Sadly, question is whose homes, war been raging for decades in those thatched roof homes in some rural Nepal)

As I said earlier, it’s always the hardest the first time. After that, it just becomes trivial, and the real danger lies when it becomes the modus operandi, even worse is: when the general publics’ earlier reaction of aghast and repugnance turns into apathy, and they start taking it as a way of life. I wonder how many Israelis or Palestinians disrupt their daily activities by the fear of bomb blast in their cities. For that matter any Sri Lankans, Iraqis or Afghans.

As much as I would like to think otherwise, I see Kathmandu has that impending fate waiting. Well, this might be my unfounded fear that I see perched from the expatriate perch, oblivious of ground realities. I may not have a political astuteness to fathom the political nuances in Nepal, but over the years of my existence, I’ve learned one thing: humans are capable of unthinkable atrocities towards one another. We have witnessed over the decade of political unrest that we Nepalis are not ‘peaceful’ people as Panchayat System would’ve made us believe otherwise. Guatam Buddha too, wouldn’t be able to do a shit for his countrymen (as if he was bound by some geo-political lines that Nepal government tires so hard to claim his citizenship, while I had to bounce of the walls of bureaucracy for almost a month in CDO office to get mine. Mother fuckers claimed that I was from Tibetan refuge camp, now do you get a glimpse of what I mean by ‘magrinalized people’). Ball started rolling a long long time back, all those pent up aggression of all those ‘marginalized’ groups have only one vent—rage. And it’s easiest of emotion which requires no rationale, but just a reason to get angry. I believe, of all the human emotions, sentiment is the easiest to manipulate. Most of urban Nepali saw/heard/felt the gore what a blast could do, but one thing they (we) completely failed to see/hear was the ‘ticking’ of aggression of marginalized people over the decades, all ready to blast.

Are those blasts justified on the ground of social injustice? Not at all, but sad, it’s the only way to draw attention in Nepali politics or elsewhere. Be prepared for more, until everyone is confused in the blaring noise of blasts that what one wanted to draw attention to. That’s the nature of war; over the long period no one remembers what the fight was for? The line between victims and perpetrators gets smudged, what remains is the feeling of vengeance and ego.

But looking closely at the current blasts, there are more questions than answers. What is the motive behind such a bold step? Other than some obscure groups claiming the responsibility, government has not been able to pin the blast to any particular group after few weeks of incident. Even the most disingenuous or the dumbest political groups have agenda, so what are the agenda/demands of ‘Terai’ group that claims the responsibility. In its absence, it’s easy to conclude (erroneous might be) they are just the pawn in the grand scheme. Grandmaster is someone else. Isn’t this the duty/responsibility of the responsible press, if there exist one in Nepal. If you don’t have the answers, at least raise the questions, which I find non-existent in Nepali press.

So, I personally believe, there is more at play than meets the eyes. Is it genuinely discontent ‘madhesis’ or just the manipulation of their discontent by someone else? But whatever might be the reason, the line has been crossed; guilty pangs of killing innocent public are done with, the next blast would be as easy as taking a cup of tea, the apathetic ‘janta’ wouldn’t even budge from their chair on hearing the blast before they finish their cup of tea. They will learn to grow with it as long as someone else is being killed, and that’s the Politics Of Violence. Countless societies have gone through that over the period of history or recently, now I believe it’s our turn to show what we are capable of, in terms of gore.

Good bye, Gautam Buddha, take your shit somewhere else, Nepal has marketed you enough, and now let us show our true color. That is RED.

Fuck that sounds like a communist manifesto.